Simple Gifts and Magical Moments

In nature everything transforms. Species, seasons, earth and water ebb and flow, birth and die. This is where I find hope.

I've been thinking about making this post but have been hesitant. I decided for Pride Month, to go for it. For many of you, this is old news. I am transgender. I am bisexual. I am also a man. I am also short. I am also silly and all sorts of other things. They are all labels and describe parts of me, but not all of me. For a time I was really open about being trans. Then Trump happened and I changed my career and I got burned out on being a curiosity. I was very open about my transgender status because I wanted people to have an opportunity to talk to someone and take away the stigma and misunderstandings. But honestly, it became exhausting. I also felt like I was often seen as a trans-man, not a man. Or even a pseudo-man, not a man. After waiting decades to transition, that took a toll on me. And, going back to Trump, to be honest, it can be scary to not fit into the norm and these are especially scary times. But people have to know, we are out there in the world. And people ...

Yesterday, I took a mini-hike with my dog, Floyd. I headed out long before sunrise. (This is one of the things I love about night crew, my sleep schedule makes pre-dawn trips easy). On the drive, a large owl flew low over my car. I couldn't tell if it was a barred owl or great horn owl, but I believe it had something in it's talons. If you've never been out at pre-dawn, there's something magical about it. The world is quiet. There's no true daylight but there's a slowly brightening glimmer. The transition from quiet to song is so gradual you can miss it. Robins sing first and then come the thrushes and soon the woods are in full symphony of song. I was out of cell phone range and no humans were around. I had Floyd with me, but there's still something about that sense of aloneness that reminds you that you are a small thread in the grand fabric of life. Floyd felt it too, his bright echoed the wild spirit all around. Sunrise arrived as I was getting...

Floyd finds bones distressing. I firmly believe he was baited with food or abused around food as a pup. His early days were so full of trauma. He has gotten over a lot of his issues since I adopted him. He takes treats from people. He doesn't run away cowering if food is combined with a command. He doesn't eat so fast he chokes. One thing he hasn't lost is the stress a really good dog treat can bring him. Early on, the few times I tried to give him a bone, he'd just walk around whining. He'd put it down. pant, pick it back up and look around fearfully. I'd end up the bone away because  he couldn't relax enough to actually enjoy it. We went a long time with no bones, then I tried again. It was a similar experience, but with a little less angst. I'd take the bone away give it a day for him to calm, reintroduce it, and eventually the bone would be ok. Having it come back, even though it had been taken seemed to bring the fear level down. Then a ...