Simple Gifts and Magical Moments

Just over a year ago Coal died. Early in the week I tried to sit down and write about my old dog. I found I couldn't. I struggle with the the fact that forgetting is a part of grieving and healing. When I was 15 my friend Sean died. After a time no one talked about him and I was furious. I was young and I could not understand how people had "just forgotten about him". It seemed like a betrayal. It made the loss real. I wanted to hold on. More then 20 years later, I still remember him. Memory is strange. I doubt everything I remember about him is accurate. I remember some odd, disconnected pieces, like standing in line with him to get our report cards. I have no doubt there is much I've forgotten too. What comes first to my mind is Sean's goofy laugh. The memory that comes first and strongest, when I think of Coal, is security and comfort. I would lay on the floor with him. Sometimes I'd give him a hug, and sometimes push my face against his big furry body and...

I love, The sound of the waves, Strong but subtle. The feel of the sand between my toes. Warm. The birds, so many species of birds. Bright and dull. Watching the water splash and shape. Light. Being able to walk and walk and walk. The smell. They way Coal gets crazy, like a pup. Butt wag. Sniffing the tide line then trotting up to the water Cautious and perky. Afraid of the waves but loving the cool. No swimming! He always has to taste the ocean water, Still salty. I love all the interesting things you can find, Bits of stories And the way it always changes. I love the peace.